Dec 27, 2005

I was thinking about friendship last night and how I could describe it. My mind wasn’t working straight and I couldn’t come up with enough pure words for it. But when I was reading scriptures last night I came accross a good verse. I’m just going to list parts of it here.


envieth not

is not puffed up

seeketh not her own

is not easily provoked

thinketh no evil

rejoiceth in truth

endureth all things.

I know I have a couple of those to work on. Particularly the thinketh no evil part. I try not to, but somehow thoughts just creep in. Especially when someone does something to frustrate me. I hate to get angry, but it always happens. It is very hard to think to evil.

The other one is ‘envieth not.’ That’s hard. I’m not jealous of other people all the time, and I certainly don’t try to be, that’s another one of those things that sneaks up on you. One very pesonal example: We are trying, and have been for 7 months now, to have another baby. I know we will have another one, but it is taking so long. (Especially when Taiten was a honeymoon baby Image) Another couple we are close to have been trying for 10 years now, and have had about as many miscarriages. And I’m sure everyone has the friend who had the miracle pregnancy, you know, gained 20 pounds (lost it in 3 weeks), and absolutely NO sickness. I could see where there would be some jealousy in this situation. But our friends who have been trying for so long don’t harbor any of those feelings. And then, there was me, (I had ‘morning sickness’ all day long, for 8 months and gained WAY too many pounds) and I was so jealous of my friend. Once I realised what was happening, I felt awful, I love my friend and I didn’t want to feel that way. I confessed it all to her and she forgave me. That was the hardest thing to do. Admit fault. Especially something like that. I easily could have never told her and she never would have known. But I was racked with grief and I knew I had to do it.

This is delving deeper than I thought it would. I guess we all get introspecive this time of year.

In a lighter mood, I have already decided on my New Year’s Resolution. I still have a week, so it might change, but I really like this one. I’m still going to wait until the 1st to dish though!

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